It looks like my POH turns into POSadness . I dont know, i actually dont like complaining but this week was so rough for me. Have I mentioned you that my final presentation is re-scheduled?
Well he said D-1 my final presentation?
Gosh, I actually dont want to write or share this with you guys because of i am feeling so embarrassed right now, i have told everyone about my final presentation, my mom already booked a ticket to come here but God says differently. I dont understand, all of my lecturer said that they could do this tomorrow but its all changed.
I was crying and calling my mom right after ( i cried so loudly at campus, luckily there was no one there ) my mom tried to calm me down it kinda works, then i was hurry going back to dorm, i cried again, louder this time, and locked my self away from my phone and people.
At 3pm, i came back to my campus, i was trying to fix any mess that just happened. But it doesnt work, i keep rejecting contact with human, i really dont wanna talk to anyone, even my bestfriend i walk pass by her, i even pretend i didnt see her. Then i remember i hadnt have food since morning so i decide to treat myself eating at the restaurant which has the best fried tofu (it taste like milk). And again, when the waiter asked "why are you alone" then i replied "not your business" (in a high tone!)
Fuck me right, i spread negative energy even to strangers. Its not easy to be positive or happy all the time, sometimes i just need to be selfish. It's hard like really hard turn the shit day into happy day.
And by you have the shit day, you know more about who is really care about you, who's really sincerely listen to you . And its only few people, nadia, and my family.
Nadia quote was : There are worse thing ahead, always be grateful
And because of this shit happen, my dad was calling me and said that "everything is okay, it means you have to prepare more" ( i rarely talk to him )
And mom, ugh i dont wanna write about what she said because it so sad but at the same time charge up my spirit and belief, she was so worried about me but idk probably i am the drama queen one.
I made this too dramatically so people will be sympathy with me.
But on the other side, God really wants to fix something by ruined something, do you get what I mean? My relationship with my dad is worse, but because of this he even call me and calm me down. So if you see bad day into different perspective then its actually not that worse.
There are so many people who is worse than you, just do not comparing yourself to someone "higher" than you but compare yourself with someone "lower" so that you'll be always grateful. Its hard to be positive all day or everyday, because everybody has their own problem so dont bother them with your sadness. And you will not have bad day all years right? sometimes shits happen.
Que Sera-Sera
Lots Of Love
XoXo
Rossi
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